Emotional hurt

The worst hurt a person can feel is emotional.  When a so called friend bullies you or suddenly starts to ignore you for no apparent reason the hurt can be unimaginable.  Having been bullied at school for various reasons, I swore that I would never let anyone do that to me again.  However, recently, I’ve been let down by a so called best friend, we’ve been friends (and I use the term loosely) for 16 years when suddenly (in my eyes) she stopped speaking to me and didn’t return my messages or texts.  Towards the end of the year her husband left the company that we both worked for and started a new one with his mates.  I think, looking back that this is why she stopped speaking to me.  However, we were friends before he started working for the company I would have thought that we could be friends afterwards but this was not to be.  Recently, I decided that I would rather not be her friend than to be hurt any more so I took the next logical step, I deleted her number from my phone and I unfriended her on Facebook.  These were my decisions, and they are the best things I did.  I wish her all the best in her future endeavours however, I cannot forgive her for her behaviour towards me and my family.

Heart ache

On Thursday passed I made the heart wrenching decision to help my wee dog cross the rainbow bridge.  I consider myself lucky to have been owned by him, loved and cherished in return.  I smile and carry on as normal but inside I’m aching the slightest thing makes me tear up.  While I know and understand that I did the right thing for him it doesn’t make it any easier I miss my wee boy so much.

Wee trip out

I went to Glasgow today for the first time in ages.  I can honestly say that I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed shopping there.  Yeah the weather wasn’t great but still had a great day.  I went to a preloved sale but unfortunately didn’t buy anything due to too many people and everything being rammed in.  I was successful in bravissimo the girls in that shop are amazing thanks.  I don’t do that very often but it’s nicer on a Sunday less crowded and more relaxing to wonder about.  I’m a bit sore and tired now after the journey but it’s nothing I can’t cope with.

Exhausted 

Two weeks ago I was surprisingly diagnosed with shingles.  I followed the doctors orders and took antiviral medication for a week.  However, they played havoc with my bowels.  Whilst I appreciate that I’m still in the recovery stage.  I’m so tired it’s almost bone deep. I’m exhausted all of the time, I struggle to get out of my bed in the morning and I can fall asleep anywhere.  I still have pain in my arm akin to carpel tunnel syndrome and my jaw is sore to the point that I struggle to open my mouth.  I’m worried that I may end up with chronic fatigue syndrome and because of my loss of appetite I’m going to end up losing weight far too quickly.  I know that I need to pull myself out of my emotional slump and try to perk up.  I also need to feel more human and not rely on caffeine to keep me going.  If there is anyone that can advise me on this I would very much appreciate it.

Different kind of pain 

Not all pain is physical but emotional.  Over the festive period I’ve witnessed things that I have come to see how expectations and assumptions can hurt people.  I’ve found out that I’ve accidentally been hurting someone because I’ve not phoned them which I will resolve. However, the main hurt is by a certain person who will remain nameless and how they continue to use excuses to be seen as the one who must be obeyed, visited and whose rules are the be all and end all.  Family are very important to me however I will not bend over backwards to appease them.  Saying goes roads go both ways well so does the telephone and I’m frustrated with the attitude of I’m old I can do these things say these things because there are no consequences.  Also to find out that the same person has hurt others with this attitude shows that they are ignorant rude and very much stuck in their ways.  Anyway enough of the moaning, I’ve decided that I will buy a new mattress this year along with the holiday in June to Scarborough with my wee boy.  Hope everyone had a great holiday season xx

Bonfire Night 

Well tonight is bonfire night and all the fireworks should be going off, however they’ve been going off for the best part of the week already.  I’m lucky that kipper isn’t frightened of them.  I’m worried about him though, he shakes when he is what appears to be afraid.  He also uses this to get his own way.  Cause his skin is bad I’ve resorted to using a babygrow to keep his skin covered, it also seems to keep him calm.  On a different note, I’m confused why the local fireworks display is tomorrow night instead of today.  Why do this.